ON BEING REAL

AS HUMAN BEINGS, OUR GREATNESS LIES NOT SO MUCH IN BEING ABLE TO REMAKE THE WORLD AS IN BEING ABLE TO REMAKE OURSELVES. MOHANDAS GANDHI


I don't completely trust a man who tells me he has no prejudices. I do not believe such a creature exists. We all have wrong thoughts, ingrained mistrusts, ignorance. It is the human condition, to get it wrong even when we know better. So, NO, I do not trust a man who claims to be without prejudices. He is either the worst sort of a lair, deceiving himself, or fearful of being judged.

I know it is not politically correct to admit ones prejudices out loud but what is wrong with it? How else do we fix the problem if we are all too afraid to admit one still exists, and not in an out there sort of way, but in an up close, inside me sort of way?

See, I think we need to cast off our fears and sit round a table with some good coffee and just get real, drop our PC fronts and speak from our hearts, even those dark little corners we don't like admitting to, especially those darker corners, for only from those corners can change emerge

If I could say to my friend, "You know, I understand it is wrong. I am not proud of this. I wish I could change it, but I feel...." and she could say back, "I get that, because you see, I think...." and we could admit these things out loud and talk about them and accept them in each other and forgive each other, I think it would make it harder to maintain those wrong thoughts, easier to actively change them. Sort of like that catch all drawer where you shove all the stuff you don't have the time to find a place for, so you shove it there, out of sight and close the door. Were you to pull all that stuff out and lay it in plain sight, and force yourself to walk past it day after day, allow your friends to walk past it when they came to visit, it would soon wear on you and you would find yourself coming up with a plan to clear away the garbage, one loose nail at a time.

I understand the problem is complex and the solutions not so easily found, and I get that this a very simplistic view of a greater problem--- greater shame, however, there is great wisdom in what Gandhi said, "Be the change you desire."

I cannot take away what has been. Cannot repair the damage done by the ignorance of others. Cannot rebuild the towers. Cannot unhang the hanged. Cannot give back futures denied, families lost. Cannot unshoot heroes shot. Cannot restore fortunes stolen. But I can face those facets of myself and hold them to the flame, turn them bit by bit, and let truth regrind, reshape, until those ugly bits of me are no longer and I emerge a better human being for having been willing to go through the process.

I'm willing,

Are you?