TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW YOU WILL BE MORE DISAPPOINTED BY THE THINGS YOU DIDN'T DO THAN BY THE ONES YOU DID DO. SO, THROW OFF THE BOWLINES. SAIL AWAY FROM THE SAFE HARBOR. CATCH THE TRADE WINDS IN YOUR SAILS. EXPLORE. DREAM. DISCOVER. MARK TWAIN
Mother. Daughter. Aunt. Sister. Friend. Teacher. Student.
Who am I beyond these titles?
Who would my children, parents, sister, friends, students, boss, nieces describe if asked who I am?
Why is it so hard to shed the weight of these rolls, the weight of other's expectations, to define for myself who I am and then find the courage to simply be.
If it's true that we are the sum total of our choices and, if one chooses to live by the expectations others set for them, does one then become merely a reflection? And if so, I have to ask, a reflection of what?
For the first time in my life I find myself in a space and time completely alone. By this I mean, there is no one depending on me. There is no other whom I must consider. My actions will only impact myself at this juncture in my life. Were I to fall, I would only take myself down. There is no one to stop me from doing-----well, anything, and yet here I sit, Still afraid. Still moving in the same unsatisfactory circles. Around and around my little fish bowl I go, same rocks, same glass, same small enclosed space, same outward looking. Same longing. Same wanting. Wanting something different. Wanting something bigger. Wanting, but what?
This, I now understand is the question that must first be answered before I can take that first step from this little glass bowl.
What do I want?
Such a simple question.
Such a complex answer.
Wish me well as I struggle to obtain the answer I now seek.
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WOW..Its like we can talk for hours and hours if we try to find what is it that we want from our life. Even i am young but i feel like a old soul searching somethihng beyond my imagination.
ReplyDeletePlease dont feel alone because I'm alone too even when I have a family. And having two alones in the same place does not mean they are alone.
Feel free to say, to do anything and know this your life. Always remember your naturalness is goodness.
Oh one more thing...
Apologizing for my words, art is involuntary and out of my control. I can edit my thoughts but I dont want to edit my free flowing words even when it does not make any sense. Sometimes I can be quite funny if let my mind ramble or bable without filtering my thoughts. You will see.
P.S.Thank you so much for stopping by, I absolutely did not except to anyone to see my blog, let anyone leave comments and thinking soemone would follow my blog was out of imagination.
Oh I have another crazy blog. If you want to know about that, do let me know.
Take care of yourself. Lots of Love.
maygirl